Not the Reality TV show, but my own discovery that I’m a hoarder. I’ll post a few pictures, maybe, at the end of the post. This originally started as a letter to my sister, but then I realized I was talking about despair and some pretty deep emotions.
This is the part from the letter: “You know I can look at these pictures and actually feel the despair that hoarders must feel when they start to fill rooms up and throw stuff as far to the back as possible. But what I still can’t understand is why they want to keep everything. Even though this looks horrible right now, I’m so eager to have it gone. And it’s probably not apparent, but I’m actually sorting out everything so that the white bedding I had in my “hotel” room in Newburgh is in the same box and the bedding I had in the “warm” room, is also in the same box. I’m throwing out tons of clothing that I’ve collected over decades but I have to allow them (the building) to empty the bin so it can’t all go tomorrow. But I’m definitely feeling the sadness of hoarding because I was a bit of a hoarder, I just didn’t realize it. I didn’t clean out my stuff — I just kept buying bigger and bigger storage units. And why did I have to buy so much? To have the sharpest cotton shirt. I didn’t buy anything…”
I was going to say “spectacular” or “unique.” I bought a lot of clothes from Eddie Bauer, which is just a shop that almost never changes its design and therefore, appeals to stupid men. But 30 to 50 shirts and long sleeved things? I have so much clothing stacked on the floor but, exactly like Hoarders, I can identify every fucking piece of clothing and bedding. So, like those idiots, I can look at piece of wrinkled fabric and say, “Oh that’s from my Hotel Room in Newburgh,” where I designed a guest bedroom with almost entirely white fabric. The chair and the desk were also white. Why am I trying to convey that message to anyone? It was a white room, and nobody liked it.
The room that I designed that I called the “warm” room, was designed for greys and blues and almost everyone wanted to stay in it. So now, I’m sitting here trying to fold and press and put the blue and grey (they warm room) into another couple of boxes.
But what I’m really trying to do is boast. It should all be thrown out, and I finally realized why Trump is so fucking stupid. He took all those classified documents, knowing he had lost the election, and then said, “Here’s what they did for me. Look at this. I wanted to know how we could attack Iran. And look at this. The Pentagon gave me some papers that showed me how to bomb Iran.”
The moral of the story, is that I’m sitting here trying to justify sending bedding and such to Ohio, when the fact is I’m a hoarder. I’m like Trump, trying to say “this is what I had access to…” but when the truth is, I’m just a hoarder with money.
BUT NO ONE WILL EVER TOUCH MY STAMP COLLECTION>
Hoarder’s last words. hahahahahahahahhaha